I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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