I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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