He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
