I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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