I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
