I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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