I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
