What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
