you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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