Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
