My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
