Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
