do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
