Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk is not a location!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
