Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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