No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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