he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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