yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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