i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
