I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
