I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
