If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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