Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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