Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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