just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
