I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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