the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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