If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he shaved USA in his pubs
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
