Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
