I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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