Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
