we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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