Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
