we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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