therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
