they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
