A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
