Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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