i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
