i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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