I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
