I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
