It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
