I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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