I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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