it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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