when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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