Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
