Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
