listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize