a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
