Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
